The Singleness Series | Single and Free / by Rachel Nordgren

The Singleness Series | Single and Free

Oh, hey there, friends.

We're just going to skip over the fact that I haven't been around for over a week (it's the first week of the semester and homegirl needs to focus) and jump straight back into the Singleness Series! HOORAY!

Today I have the honor of introducing you to Grace. She is fiercely passionate about living life to the absolute fullest. She's funny, loves good stories, and she's a single lady who is absolutely on fire for the Lord. When you get done reading her thoughts here, you should definitely check out her post about being done with "Someday".  Hers are words that I wish I would have the courage to write when I was single.

Oh, and Jenna's post from two weeks ago about being Single and Submitting? You should definitely check that out, too.

Read on and be blessed by Grace today, friends.

Hello, friends! I'm Grace - a 21 year old junior in college. I'm a born-and-raised Texan transplanted to Louisiana, but I found my way back to the Lone Star state for college and couldn't be happier. I blog over at My Spare Oom (any Narnia fans out there?) where I chat about matters of the heart, fashion and lots of 'C' things: coffee, Catholicism, concealer + college life.

I found Rachel's beautiful blog through her Singleness Series, actually, so I'm beyond excited to be guest contributing for this wonderful series that she's put together. Her love for Christ and her fellow women is inspiring and uplifting! 

Singleness. It’s a word loaded with heavy - and often negative - connotation in today’s society. Hands up if you've been asked by a pestering aunt, cousin, grandmother, well-meaning family friend, or even your mother whether you've "met someone?"

I graduated high school as a single girl who had never dated. I wasn't going to college to find a husband.

Even if part of me secretly hoped I would. 

Rather, I tried my hardest to make sure that wasn't what college would be about, despite getting this advice: "Now, you know, Grace, you'll probably meet your future husband in college, so make sure you choose the right one!"

Whoaaaa. Talk about pressure. I dismissed it without a second thought and I'm so glad I did.

Two years after receiving that advice, I'm still a single girl in college.

And guess what? I. Love. It.

Is being single hard? Undoubtedly. Does it stink sometimes? Quite. Do I sometimes feel #foreveralone sometimes? Yup.

But does that make me any less of a person, any less of a daughter of God? Any less of a Christian? Absolutely not. 

I’ve realized lately that singleness is often treated and spoken of like a disease. Like you've somehow failed at life or are unlucky or need to "improve yourself" in order to catch someone.

Like being single means your life is on hold. 

It’s a message repeated in many, sympathetic ways: "It's okay"..."There's someone out there who will love you for you"...."Don't worry, it'll happen someday"...."Just wait"...."It'll happen to you too!"...."Why don't you get out there and meet someone?"

Girls, I'm here to tell you that there is NOT something wrong with you if you haven't "found" a guy yet. If you haven't had a boyfriend. If you're currently not dating.  Because being single does not mean your life hasn't properly started yet. Being single does not mean that you're inadequate and no one wants you.

Being single has taught me to find freedom in myself, to find freedom in God.

Being single has taught me to stand tall and be proud of who I am. Being single has helped me to look at myself honestly and find self-worth by myself. Being single has cemented the belief that I am beautiful. Not because a boy has told me, but because I know I have been created by God.

Does that mean I want to be told I'm beautiful by the man I've yet to know? Of course! Do I want to fall in love, become a wife and mother? More than anything.

But I have decided not to live my life unhappily because I happen to be single. Instead, I have found fulfillment, independence, strength, and closeness to God through singleness. 

Of course, I'm still a normal girl with emotions, so yes, sometimes I cry and eat ice cream while watching a sappy rom-com film.

But then I look around and realize how blessed I am... I am pursing an education and a degree I am passionate about. I have a loving family and incredible friends. I have many hobbies that bring me happiness, like blogging, photography, writing, and even Zumba dancing. I have traveled to amazing places like Hawaii, California, and New York. I have enjoyed spontaneous road trips, laughed for hours with dear friends, staffed retreats where the presence of God was undeniable, eaten countless dinners, and drank countless cups of coffee..... all without a special someone in my life.

And I am happy. Is singleness something I struggle with? Yes. Is singleness something I am grateful for? Yes. Is singleness something that I have learned to love and see as a true blessing? Yes!

I have found freedom in singleness. The freedom to love myself. The freedom to live my life NOW. 

Because, girls, if we view our years of singleness as something we're "stuck in" like a bad job, boring class, or rough patch in life....well, don't you think we'll regret those years?

So I'm embracing singleness. Being in a relationship does not make you automatically happy. So I choose to cultivate happiness and contentment during my single years.

I choose to live my life as God has intended - singleness and all.

I’d love to chat with you!



Under Grace,

There's more where this came from. Other beautiful bloggers have written about what it means to be Single and SignificantThrivingContentSeekingIntentional, Brave, and Submitting.